nitemare, if that is the case, it will be better to use a bounce card, you also need to do trial and errors to get the desired results. One good way to know if the flash is overpowered/harsh, is to compare the subject to the background. If the subject is overlitted, then you need to readjust your flash output
here is a bounce card I did a couple of years back, which have been useful to me. To be printed in A3, pasted on a cupboard and fold along the lines
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...bouncecard.jpg